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Heart Check

Updated: May 16, 2022

Being polite and having manners have their place. But so many people grow up to be extra over-polite people with difficulty saying "no" to other people's expectations and/or tolerate disrespect, neglect, or abuse from others.

Do you find yourself always saying, "I'm sorry" or "yes" so you won't upset other people?

Do you have a pattern of striving for perfection, achievement, attention, and acceptance because you didn't feel loved, secure, or safe in your childhood?

Unfortunately, childhood trauma from living in a household of unpredictable, anger, poverty, control, abuse, drama, rejection, addiction, high expectations to be perfect, mental illness, or violence can produce a personality of a "gold star collector" or "people pleaser". This is a child's coping/survival strategy in response to their trauma. They want to shine and receive love or they don't want to make waves or become a target of abuse, or just be invisible.

People pleasers adapt by putting their wants and needs last or ... never. Hurt people often silence their voice, compromise, and diminish their value in their marriages, in their friendships, or in organizations (e.g. church, team, job) to fit in to only end up with counterfeit love.

Unfortunately, manipulation and trauma happens. Don't let those who hurt you make you believe you are the problem. Establishing healthy boundaries, developing your voice, knowing your value, and normalizing "no" are possible and great steps toward your well-being.

I'm available to talk with you. email -

Reserve your bed today for my annual Malibu reTREAT Sept 21-23, 2022. We over 1/2 full with ladies coming from Atlanta, New York, Maryland, Indianapolis, Michigan, Virginia, Oakland, Sacramento, Lancaster, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Lake Elsinore, the Valley, Fontana, etc.

Every Sunday, 3 pm (Pacific) ... 6 pm (Eastern)

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