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Unhappiness, loneliness, and isolation

Unhappiness, loneliness, and isolation can be interconnected in complex ways. There are several potential reasons why some women may choose to isolate when feeling unhappy: As a life coach and in-demand talk therapist, I encourage women by offering support, amazing clarity, and a safe environment of understanding without judgment. This can be a big step because the mind resists new change and can seem risky to the guarded mind. I see so many women who tend to linger to their survival instincts and gravitate toward safety and what's familiar even though they feel overwhelmingly lonely. Breaking the habit of emotional hiding and isolation can be challenging, but it's essential for your mental and emotional well-being and for those who love and care about you.

The likelihood of heart disease, obesity, stroke, anxiety, depression, addictions, hoarding, and dementia is occurring more and more because of the epidemic of loneliness (MEN AND WOMEN), superficial relationships on social media, and geographic distance from friends and family. Overcoming loneliness and withdrawal as a coping skill is a gradual process.

All of us are hard-wired for social connection, human communion, and touch. We need each other to learn, grow, and survive.

The root cause of isolation, depression, and triggers are often not addressed enough in the faith community because their main focus is your spiritual well-being. You have a mind, body, and spirit. My approach addresses one's spiritual, mental, and emotional wellness as well as how culture shapes your traditions, expectations, fears, family values, and personality. Your past pain from childhood, sexual violence, abandonment, peer pressure, family dysfunction, past broken relationships, financial issues, grief/loss of a loved one/job/home, family conflict/secrets, addictions, trauma, and weight/health issues, and long working hours away from home are just some of the reasons you can be locked in a stronghold of unhappiness, loneliness, and isolation. In our Western culture, embarrassment is considered a negative emotion and we unconsciously learn to hide our emotions to avoid shame, ridicule, and a sense of failure.

. To protect yourself, you could tend to withdraw and isolate yourself from invitations, church, work, family gatherings, phone calls, dating, and home visits.

. Your energy can be drained dealing with life pressures, caregiving, heartbreak, bills, unemployment, long-term sickness, single parenting, lack of family support, poor eating habits subsequently causes you to lose interest, energy, and motivation for life.

. No one likes to be judged, criticized, questioned, or misunderstood. Before you realize it, you have cut yourself off from social interaction. You may feel that being alone helps you to better process your emotions or you have gotten used to being alone with your thoughts.

. I talk with many women who feel like they are a burden to others so they avoid sharing their issues. They are not used to asking for help. They wear masks and everyone around them thinks they are ok. Read more in my e-book "The 12 Faces of Eve". Often they have lost their trust in people because of past disappointments and betrayal of secrets shared. The shame and hurt of exposing their struggles make them even more vulnerable to isolation, loneliness, depression, and unhappy life.

. I talk to women who are trying to live up to the "strong black woman" archetype. They don't know how to take off their superwoman cape because everyone depends on them and they feel they have no one to cover them. Eventually, they break from the heavy responsibility of being the "go-to" person. Self-care is not about vanity... it's about your sanity. Self-care is more than getting your hair and nails done. Start discovering ways to care for your mind, body, soul, ideas, talents, gifts, goals, purpose, dreams, finances, health, time, and peace.

How is your heart? Don't hesitate to reach out for professional and caring help if you find it challenging to overcome loneliness, isolation, and anxiety. Taking steps towards greater emotional openness and connectedness can be so rewarding and definitely worth the time.

To invite me to speak for your organization or to schedule a one-on-one talk with me by phone, zoom, facetime, or ... in person if you live in the southern California area.. call 323.964.1736 or email

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