WINsday

Look at the picture, that little girl is driving, not because she wanted control, because no one else stepped up.

When a woman (or a man) feels stuck, it is rarely laziness, it is fear, shame, anxiety, or old wounds freezing her in place. Past experiences quietly block confidence, trust, and self belief.

When a child has to drive, it usually means the adults were emotionally or physcially absent, unpredictable, overwhelmed, or unsafe, so her nervous system adapted. She became the peacekeeper, the mood reader, the watcher, the perfectionist, the one who learned to stay small so chaos would pass or she becomes passive, withdrawn, and feels incompetent.

I have coached many women through inner child healing. The stories look different, but the pattern is the same; abuse, violence, poverty, divorce, addiction, young or unprepared parents, narcissistic parents, chronic illness, homes where safety was never guaranteed.

Survival worked, but it came at a cost.

That little girl in you may be driving, maybe not from a childhood trauma. But because life keeps happening...one thing after another, grief, loss, trauma, disappointment, setbacks, unhealthy relationships, poor choices made while exhausted, all of it reinforces the same pattern. She overfunctions, struggles to receive help, apologizes too much, explains too much, feels sick as her secrets, and carries too much.

Eventually, the body gets tired or sick, not because she is weak, but because she has been on duty for too long. So she numbs herself with food, alcohol, weed, shopping, overworking, scrolling, over-giving, people-pleasing, isolating, dead-end situationships, anything that gives a moment of relief.

Here is the part women rarely say out loud... they are not addicted to the thing... they can escape, avoid, and deny reality while becoming addicted to relief.

Inner child work matters because it replaces numbing with understanding and healthy ways to adapt. When my coaching clients see their backstory clearly, they have their aha moment... self-blame softens, and something finally shifts.

If the child in her continues to drive, she will make reckless choices or ...none at all. Healing is the "adult you; taking the driver’s seat back, not shaming the little girl, but thanking her, "You kept us alive, you do not have to run my whole life anymore."

Healing looks like rest without guilt, boundaries without long explanations, choosing safe people even when they feel unfamiliar, letting calm feel normal.

To this woman I would say..."It's time to get in the driver's seat and upgrade your GPS."