"Because I grew up with unhappy parents and painful separation and divorce...I unconsciously took on the role of protector and always felt I missed my childhood because I stepped into shoes that were too big for a 7-year-old.
Thank God I have studied, matured, forgiven, let go, prayed, and gained so many self-discovery tools to heal and transform my thinking. I feel honored that every Sunday 25-30 ladies allow me to share life lessons to empower them on how to be free.
When a child feels unsafe, insecure, and raised in an unstable environment and the parents are unavailable, needy, sick, abusive, mentally unstable, depressed, violent, high from drugs/alcohol, missing in action, lives a secret life, and incapable of soothing, hugging, guiding, protecting, and affirming the child...the results can lead to a troublesome adult life. The child often grows up with; unhappiness, low self-worth, and broken relationships. The child who takes care of a parent (parentification) is robbed of their innocent childhood of fun, soothing, and safety to grow and too often unconsciously develops; a pattern of overextension, overthinking, a sense of hyper-alertness, strives for perfection, becomes a silent sufferer, or people pleaser, looks for love in all the wrong places, feels overwhelmed, can have anger issues, lacks self-care boundaries, or detaches and learns to be fiercely independent, competitive, cold, or shuts down their emotions, needs, and self-expression.
I discuss this topic many times in "Diamond INNERversity Webinar Study Group"
Trauma responses from a dysfunctional childhood can show up in the following ways:
. Not asking for help
. Avoidance/withdrawal
. Saying “I’m fine” when you are not
. Feeling like a burden
To encourage you to start addressing your inner child. Ask yourself,
. What are some things you wanted a trusted adult to tell you at that age?
. What is something kind you can say about yourself?
. How can you forgive yourself for not knowing then what you know now?
. How can you release the shame of what you’ve been through?
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