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WINsday message - Are you sabotaging your success and well-being?

I've seen sabotaging patterns in myself and my life-coaching clients. Let's talk about it. Self-sabotage is frequently motivated by negative self-talk, which tells you that you are inadequate or unworthy of accomplishment. You think, "You can't do that!" "You don't deserve that." "If you try, you'll probably just fail anyway." Below are 8 common types of saboteurs.

The Judge  is the master Saboteur, the one most of us suffer from. It compels you to constantly find faults with yourself, others, and your conditions and circumstances. It generates much of your anxiety, stress, procrastination, excuses, anger, disappointment, fear, shame, and guilt. When you suffer from imposter syndrome and feel incompetent, unworthy, too old, unprepared, uneducated, or not attractive enough your INNER judge hinders the WINNER in you from fulfilling a desire, task, or goal.

The Avoider - only wants to focus on the pleasant and easy tasks.

The Controller and Hyper-achiever feels the need to control their circumstances and other people. They compete and often feel impatient and anxious when they can’t be in control of a situation and believe that others want them to be in control as well. They often struggle with being told what to do even though the advice is in their best interest. They tend to push people and opportunities away. 

The Hyper-Vigilant type lives with a lot of fear and worry about what can go wrong. They are catastrophiers who feel intense and continuous anxiety about all the dangers surrounding them and what could go wrong in the future. This type of saboteur is constantly vigilant and can never rest. It results in a great deal of ongoing stress that wears them down and hinders any joy, progress, possibilities, or growth.

The Perfectionist holds themselves to high standards of organization, work ethic, and doing things the “right” way. They’re highly critical of others who don’t meet these standards, but they’re also extremely sensitive to criticism from others. They have no tolerance for mistakes and are inflexible in their thinking and in their work. Others are likely to resent them because they seem self-righteous and impossible to please. They suffer from paralysis of analysis.

The Pleaser loses sight of their own needs and goals because they focus on pleasing others. They expend a lot of energy to gain acceptance and affection by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering others constantly. This type of saboteur misses opportunities and progress with their own needs and empowerment because their energy and focus are misplaced.

The Victim stays in their feelings, especially their painful emotions and memories. The result is a victim, poor-me, or martyr character which sabotages their potential for success and progress because they think someone else should rescue them and fix their hurt. They are stuck in the past and can't move forward even when opportunities and help are available. The victim profile is not resilient from their adversity. Despite pain and adversity, some people learn to be resilient and wise instead of living as a wounded helpless person.

March 30 - San Jose, CA - Annual Girlfriend's Day Experience, Jewel will be the guest speaker for this wonderful event or call 408-272-9924

April 13 - EmpowHER Real Talk Circle,12 noon pm - monthly in Inglewood, CA

April 27 - Life Church Women's Tea - Riverside, CA

May 5 - Sunday Sermon at L. A. Third Church, Los Angeles

Sept 3 - 6 - Women on the Grow Annual reTREAT in Malibu

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